SPOUSE in the HOUSE

WEAR IT WITH PRIDE

Brilliant (IMHO) t-shirt design I just came up with in opposition to May 8's Republican Primary / yet applies to all parties hahaha ballot question.

CAMPAIGN BACKGROUND

NC is putting democracy in action by asking a small sliver of voters on Primary Day if some of its citizens should be forever barred from the same rights everyone else has to obtain a license to marry, or become certified as a couple officially.

Yes, a clarification vote denying a state permit to fellow citizens guilty of no crimes, who contribute to society and share lives like everyone else with a home, yet... whom some groups despise as degenerates unworthy of legitimacy under law.

This is not official mind you, just some group's opinion people say is the majority. But let's vote anyway in making it official state policy that we shall all agree with the  fundamentalist splinter group.

POLITICAL ACTION INSERT

So to go with the t-shirt I'm thinking of a marketing insert card thing. This could serve to educate and entertain the consumer on this fiasco of democracy.

CORE MESSAGE: AMERICA OPPOSES TYRANNY

The America Revolution and this great Nation were founded on gaining liberty from tyranny in the pursuit of happiness. A revolt or two happened, because the church and state back then were working together, keeping everyone in bondage and the people were tired of it.

The Age of Reason! A New Republic, where the people are the government and such institutions shall no longer carry forth the authority of state. That tends to create nothing but Lords and peasants. So God Bless America! Power to the People!

PARODY IN ALL-CAPS: LEGAL TENDER

That whole rant will be worked in on the front of the card, but the best part is the back. Here, I'll re-print the text of the proposed law, interpreted for ease of absorption via absurdity.

{ headline }
When voting your Republican Primary Ballot for Romney, Newt or Satan to go on to the race against Obama, don't forget weigh in on the big nonpartisan one we slipped in there! It reads (sorta):

{ legal text }

SHALL WE CITIZENS OF NORTH CAROLINA COME TO ORDER AND CHANGE EXISTING CONSTITUTIONAL LAW AS FOLLOWS ...

ADD TO THE ALREADY EXCLUSIVE INVALIDATION OF RIGHTS FOR SOME OF OUR FELLOW CITIZENS THE FOLLOWING ADDITIONAL CLARIFICATIONS :

• ONLY A MOMMY AND A DADDY ARE LEGAL TO LOVE IN THIS STATE, BUDDY. NO TWO DADDIES, NO TWO MOMMIES, NOW AND FOREVER.

• THE STATE GRANTS LICENSE TO MARRY TO ALL ITS CITIZENS FOR A FEE, AND EITHER A PRIEST, MAGISTRATE OR JUDGE SHALL VALIDATE THIS LEGAL UNION OF TWO UNRELATED PEOPLE WISHING TO FORM A BOND.

• HOWEVER, THE STATE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE AS ELIGIBLE FOR SUCH BOND  AND HEREBY INVALIDATES HUMAN DIGNITY AND  FEELINGS OF LIFELONG LOVE FOR ONLY ONE CLASS OF TAXPAYING CITIZEN.

• FOR THIS EXCLUSIVELY NAMED AND SET ASIDE CLASS OF CITIZEN, HEREBY REFERRED TO AS "THEM HOMOSEXUALS," THE STATE HAS DEEMED INVALID, ILLEGAL, AND AMORAL, DESPITE VALID WITNESS TO THEIR EXISTING UNION, THE APPLICATION FOR SUCH SPOUSAL RECOGNITION BEFORE THE COURTS.

• THEY SHALL NOT BE WORTHY OF EVEN THE JUDGE.

• AMEN.